The two stages of life

The two stages of life

Yes, just two. Yes, I believe it applies to all of us.

Also, be warned, it’s about to get semi-spiritual.

A few years ago I read a quote supposedly by Mark Twain that said:

“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.”

I remember how this quote didn’t sit right with me for the longest time as I believed that life cannot be oversimplified like this and that who we become over the course of our lives is defined by a vast selection of seemingly insignificant and more profound experiences rather than one moment that makes us go: “Wow, it’s February 23, 2028 and I’ve just found my purpose.”

It seems as if we’re all stressing over finding this one thing for ourselves. That thing we’re naturally good at, can fund our dream life we smacked on that vision board, and excites us for the next 40+ years. Some people devote their entire careers to helping you find “your purpose”, which isn’t surprising, as it’s sure to attract the masses. I mean, who doesn’t want to live a happy, fulfilled and meaningful life?

As exciting and liberating as this whole process of finding our purpose may sound, it bears an underlying risk of having the opposite effect, as it doesn’t allow for variety and change of interest throughout our lives - at least within our rigid understanding of a purpose. This holds especially true, if we’re trying to build an online career in one particular niche. After all, we don’t want to anger the oh-so-mystical algorithm and confuse our audience. So please, don’t even dare mention other topics or let other interests slip in.

This bullsh*t understanding of a purpose, aka niche, wasn’t just born on the backs of quirky social media influencers, though.

Letting interests, jobs, relationships, or even looks define our identity is something we all inherently do. This becomes obvious when the deck is reshuffled every so often urging us to let go of these pseudo-attachments we created for ourselves.

This repeated shedding of our identity can be challenging and frightening, as we cling so desperately to these external variables, only to learn over and over again that these things don’t define who we are and are merely a mental construct that does nothing but limit us.

The fact that these variables change over the years doesn’t mean we’re hypocrites or generally full of shit - no matter what strangers on the internet might say.

Also, people really, honestly, sincerely, do not care that much about our life choices unless we go into full cult mode and try to chase them down with whatever we believe to be the ultimate truth at any given moment.

Ok, now that we got this out of the way, I still stand by what I just laid out; however, at this point, I see how this quote makes sense.

Here’s why:

Growing up I used to believe in a God (before I lose some of you, hear me out) - a separate entity, that watches my every move, guides me and protects me and my family. I also believed in a destiny that would show up in our lives as these beyond our control occurrences that were ultimately intended to help us grow and learn. Meaning that no matter what we do, think or how we behave, destiny can slap us in the face without any warning and make us deal with the challenges at hand. There seemed to be no rules to be followed to avoid bigger misfortunes, which in turn didn’t fully fit in with my idea of this “God” always being on my side and was sure to protect me when life got a little too messy.

As I got older and heard about different life events of some folks, my whole belief system got increasingly challenged and had me wondering if I’m missing something here.

People who would devote their lives to charity and volunteering could be faced with a stroke of fate as horrific as their child passing away or their house being demolished by a natural disaster. On the other hand, people who would deceive others or treat others unfairly seemed to be blessed with successful and fulfilled lives.

Which begs the question. Why even bother?

Don’t worry, this isn’t the part where I confess to a homicide.

Or is it? (jk)

The older I got, the more questions started bubbling up. Why do people put their faith in the hands of a separate entity? Why is there even suffering if God’s role is to protect us? Is there a rule book to be followed? And what is the meaning of life anyway?

As the questions began to pile up, I started to look for other theories that claimed to provide a satisfactory explanation for all of this *gestures vaguely*. I started to learn more about the laws of the universe, the power of manifestation and how we, as individuals, have the ability to drastically change our reality for the better - or worse. As with everything else, the more I got into it, the more I realized how deep the rabbit hole goes. There’s so much I want to learn and probably a whole lot I’ll never understand, but one thing I’ve accepted as truth is that there is no separate entity and that what we’re searching for and rely on has always been within us. I was intrigued by this approach, as it casually puts the ball back in our court.

To be clear, I never fully lost my faith in something bigger, but I started to look at it as this one source we all stem from and carry within us and that we’re not here to prove our worthiness to a separate higher force, but rather to acknowledge that we are the director of our own movie.

It’s like waking up from a coma and trying to remember who we actually are and what we’re capable of. Call me delusional (you probably already do), but I think that’s a big part - if not the main reason - of why we’re here. It’s about recognizing our power, committing to our dreams, which are all so uniquely tied to us as individuals and ultimately sharing our light with the world. It’s also about taking responsibility, not victimizing ourselves when life doesn’t go our way, and focusing on how to deal with certain situations rather than getting caught up in trying to make sense of why it all happened in the first place.

This idea of radical self-ownership can be quite overwhelming if we find ourselves in a situation which we don’t feel comfortable in, but are too caught up to realize that we have the choice to consciously step out of it. Once we understand that the lock was never attached to the cage, and we realize that all perceived limitations are exclusively created in our minds, nothing in our outside world stands in our way.

And that’s a lot to digest.

While I still don’t think this change of mind happens within 24 hours I do believe that this new approach to life marks the beginning of the second stage of our lives.

In this sense I also believe that there are two significant moments in our lives, the day we are born and well… the moment we find out why. :)