The homecoming
The homecoming
Imagine having spent the last three years of your life romanticizing this long break and then, just like that, you catch yourself boarding that flight back home. Over and done.
We hardly ever talk about that moment when we melt in that assigned chair, fasten our seatbelt and look at that animated mini-airplane that’s headed towards our home destination. To be fair, I don’t usually consider this to be a very significant moment in my life, either. Though usually sad, the ending is always within reach and part of the deal.
Time passes differently when you decide to step outside your comfort zone for longer, though. At least that’s how I perceived it. While I was travelling, I’d usually refrain from thinking too much about home because I knew this familiar life was waiting for me like that pile of laundry that greets you every time you step into your bedroom.
As I started this adventure, I didn’t really have any expectations since I was more concerned with taking a break from whatever it was that I had going on rather than what’s waiting for me on the other side. Though I didn’t formulate any specific expectations, it was impossible to live up to them.
I am aware that this sounds contradictory.
My long-awaited sabbatical was comparable to that hot stranger you make eye contact with. You catch yourself over-romanticizing the crap out of this hot mystery. So much so that no real person could possibly live up to that perfect idea in your head. And I’m not saying hot stranger isn’t great after all. Oh, he can be. And yes, that coffee date and any subsequent dates that follow could also end up being immensely fun, but guess what, hot stranger also happens to be Mr. sometimes-a-bit depressy, Mr. unresolved-issues and Mr. projecting-stuff-onto-you. And that’s normal. In fact, I think bursting that initial bubble of impossible-to-meet-projections and still loving what you see, is the real magic of life.
Don’t hate me for this, but this bubble-bursting situation is similar to every Burning Man review you get from virtually anyone who’s ever been there. And yes, I believe I’m ethically allowed to make stereotypical statements like this one, as I went to Burning Man once. And yes, it was magnificent. And yes, I will not shut up about it. People say things like: “You get the experience you needed, not the experience you wanted”.
This statement holds true for my sabbatical as well. When I look back at my time-off, I can say without a doubt that it gave me everything I needed to see, learn and live through. All the questions that were uncomfortably bubbling within me for so long, all the doubts, all the worries of not seeing “the other side” have been generously stilled. I got to see a glimpse of this vast and beautiful world we live in, all the while I was given the time and space to travel to the depths of my soul. Now that my sabbatical is coming to an end, I can now finally say that this inner tickling has been nurtured. This last sentence is where it hits.
I’m so grateful that I got to live this experience that had been occupying my mind for so damn long. Before I finally decided to go on that trip, I was stuck in this temporary lifestyle, unable to fully commit to anything that posed a threat to the desire of me going away. Over time, the thought of wanting to go on that trip morphed into a burden that would get in the way of my career choices, living situation and my dating life. Am I being over-dramatic here? Maybe. But this is all to say that I finally found this sweet calmness within me.
Since I haven’t shared any details of my travels so far, here’s a short list of things I’ll associate with some of my chosen destinations:
Puerto Escondido holds a special place in my heart as it was the beginning of my journey. Among many other wonderful takeaways, I’ll always remember Puerto Escondido as the place where I overcame some of my biggest fears.
Mexico City was the only place I instantly and effortlessly felt good and at ease.
I believe Medellín is overrated.
In Cartagena, I discovered my love for Ceviche. :3
Buenos Aires was my second home of choice after Puerto Escondido. I fell in love with all the organic stores, fruit and veggie stands that are waiting for you in almost every corner of the city. I got to learn so much about my body, health and nutrition during my time there. Buenos Aires was also the place where I officially reintroduced red meat. No better place to do that. This city also carries a special place in my heart as it was during my time there, where I truly fell in love with writing.
My biggest growth period was undoubtedly in Chile. As I continued writing online and offline, old stuff bubbled up left and right, ready to get addressed and thrown out the window for good. It was the perfect space to wrap up my travels, go for smaller trips and truly reflect on my journey.
As much as I feel a little overwhelmed that this long-awaited adventure is over, I am going home with a full heart, a better understanding of myself, a calm mind and a neurotic excitement for my little routine. Don’t know what I mean by that last point? Read my blog here.
Love you all, see you soon and stay tuned for more posts. <3
