How to deal with Imposter Syndrome
How to deal with Imposter Syndrome
The title implies that I have this one figured out for myself already. I haven’t. Does that qualify me to write these lines? Maybe not. And boom, we’re knee-deep in that conversation already.
Many people - including me - struggle to just go for it and put stuff on the internet. Whether that be showcasing your talents, giving advice on the Web or simply sharing your story. More often than not, we chicken out because we fear that objectively irrelevant judgment of others about our life choices.
Why is that? Seriously? Asking for a friend…
Let’s say you want to share your talent for singing — a field which we all know is already mildly over-saturated *cough*. Also, there is a big chance you’re not the best singer out there. I’m not saying this because I want to hurt your feelings. I haven’t heard you sing to begin with, but let me ask you this; Can you name the best singer on the planet based solely on talent? We’re not talking about records sold or anything like that, just pure singing talent. It’s probably hard to narrow it down, let alone appoint one. Let’s assume you can name a person. Who’s to say that your best friend, your mother or that stranger across the street shares the same opinion? My point is we probably can’t collectively agree on this one Uber-talent. Luckily, we don’t have to because there are a ton of fantastic singers out there. The reason for this immense diversity is that each of these people decided to go for it anyway. They decided to combat their inner critic and do what they love to do.
And let me tell you this: the only thing that separates you from them is the size of balls they have. I mean this in the most gender-neutral way possible. The music industry was over-saturated since the beginning of mankind. (This isn’t backed by science, so don’t quote me on this.)
If you get my point, but you argue that you’re not an aspiring singer (in which case you only partly get my point but ok) let me give you another, more relatable, example: Pizza. Consistently ranked as one of the top foods in the world and a guilty pleasure for many people. It is therefore no surprise that there is a huge supply of pizza almost everywhere you go, and we’re grateful for that because this means we get to decide where to eat pizza. Even better, each year tons of restaurants open their doors ready to fight the fight for the best pizza out there. So imagine you’re one of them. It’s 2023, and you think about opening up a pizza restaurant. Person A wouldn’t even bother building that business because they argue that the market is already over-saturated. From a business perspective, that’s a very valid point. Person B however, decides to compete with the established mass. Why? Because they have a passion and want to follow their dreams - no matter the circumstances. To be fair, the statistical likelihood of Person B failing is again very high. The point is, though, if everyone was thinking like Person A we probably wouldn’t have such a vast selection of good restaurants. Heck, we might have missed out on the best pizzas currently available. So if you have something that you’re passionate about, stop looking left and right and just go for it. On a more morbid note; If one thing in this lifetime is certain and will happen for all of us, it’s death. It’s a consistent companion, and one day you’ll get that call too. Unless you’re the equivalent of Princess Di, Michael Jackson, Martin Luther King or Maradona, your death will go unnoticed by the vast majority of the population. And the people who do care would love nothing more than to say, “at least he/she got to LIVE and pursue their dream”.
Since we have already touched on this subject, I quickly wanted to share my thoughts on failing, too. During our school years, the prospect of failing was something to be feared greatly and was solely associated with...well… raw, painful failure. You failed your midterms? Boo, what a waste of time and effort. You failed that assignment? Really? Everyone else aced it. You must be stupid. You wrote a perfectly valid paper, but you didn’t reach the word count? Uhh, that one was especially nasty. Boom, failed. For no reason other than you didn’t ramble on for long enough. Gah!
*At this point, the writer was visibly upset and emotionally too invested. So she had to take a break and get herself a coffee.*
When we somehow make our way through that rather painful and emotionally distressing traditional path of education, and we finally find the time to listen to some podcasts, read books and watch interviews with people we perceive as successful entrepreneurs, we suddenly hear things like “failure is the path to success”, “failure is inevitable”, “fail a lot” etc.
This notion of failure being this daunting dead-end suddenly gets challenged, better yet, completely rejected.
So, okay. Failure = good.
As simple as it was to type this out, for someone with a history of fighting stifling perfectionism — a bit harder to do.
At first.
However, this is slowly starting to grow on me. You tell me I can fail and still continue with my life? You tell me I can fail and people praise me for it? Not only that, but you tell me failure is part of the route to success?
It takes a while, but when we hear time and time again about stories of successful people having failed multiple businesses, it removes the pressure to succeed from the get-go. In fact, some of the most successful entrepreneurs even argue that you must fail in order to win, or that failure is an inevitable part of success. As discouraging as it may sound at first, it’s also liberating.
So go out there, beautiful being. Don’t be afraid to show yourself and, by the love of God, FAIL. Fail again, fail better, and enjoy the sweet nectar of success that awaits you along the way.
And while you’re at it, isn’t it wonderful to fail at the things you’re passionate about rather than having sleepless nights over all the dreams you didn’t even dare to pursue? In other words, isn’t the act of failing at the things you love already a success in itself?
