Connections. The elixir of life.
Connections. The elixir of life.
I remember watching the scene from the movie “Into The Wild” where Chris McCandless would come to that infamous realization that “Happiness is only real when shared”.
As beautiful as his conclusion was, I could never fully sign up to this. I firmly believe that happiness is a state which is only one mental decision away. It’s an emotion, an internal feeling that can manifest through deliberate thoughts and actions. It’s a very real thing, irrespective of the people and/or circumstances around you.
With that being said, I think that interactions with other people - be it a brief interaction with a stranger, a deep conversation with a friend, uncontrollable laughter with a loved one or even that uncomfortable talk - are what make life so unique. They have such a huge impact on our personal perception of situations.
During my travels, I catch myself every so often forming an opinion about entire cities or countries based off of my own, very limited encounters with people. I could be walking through security at the airport catching a smile from the security guard, have a brief but pleasant conversation with the barista who prepares the coffee for me and meet with a very kind taxi driver and boom I’d call a friend and tell them “the energy in this city is so good” or “the people in this city are all so kind”.
The same goes for unpleasant experiences. You could be sitting in a michelin-star restaurant, eating mind-blowing dishes, but if the waiter is an asshole, it will ultimately sour your experience. Or imagine going on that dream vacation you always wanted to take with your significant other. Once you land, you spend your entire stay bitching at each other. The scenery could be stunningly beautiful, but you probably wouldn’t enjoy it one bit.
Of course, we shouldn’t discount the fact that the way we approach certain people and circumstances can have a massive impact on the overall experience. We can’t change people or have a noticeable impact on our surroundings, but the only truly relevant variant is you. What you attract is what you get. So, how do you approach the world?
During this trip, I’m getting to know myself better every day, and more importantly, I’m standing behind the person I am. I genuinely cherish my personality traits and have stopped judging myself for things like thoroughly enjoying quiet nights, going for a walk in the woods and prioritizing deep conversations over brief interactions with a bunch of people on a night out. By accepting myself more and letting go of external pressure to act a certain way, I also find that I attract more like-minded people.
Robin Williams once said:
“I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel alone.”
I find this to be a very true statement.
Being surrounded by people who don’t fully accept you can be an extremely painful experience. But who’s to blame? You’re still the variable in the equation. If you don’t know who you are, or are afraid to be your true self, then how can you expect anyone else to know you?
It all comes down to you loving yourself first. Everything else will follow. Respect yourself, and you will naturally stop associating with people who don’t treat you with the same level of respect. Be with people who value you for who you are.
We can try to deny it all we want, but whether we find a particular experience enjoyable or meaningful has so much to do with the people we surround ourselves with. I believe we can influence the quality and quantity of our connections with other people by getting to know ourselves better, which ultimately leads to a better life experience.
What are your thoughts on this?
